Discovering NORWAY: The enchanting BERGEN

April 16, 2024

During the hour-long drive to Belfast International Airport, my hired Hyundai easily handled all four seasons. It’s interesting to note that all the safety measures shut down during inclement weather when they’re most required. This is interesting design logic that would not fly in the aviation industry! I took a chance when it came to my EasyJet luggage check-in plan. I put my cabin luggage on red, but it came in black. Even if the weight was acceptable, carrying two pieces—one too large to fit into the stingy steel cage made me, ironically, GBP48 lighter. Bergen is a picture-perfect postcode that boasts colourful wooden houses, a bustling fish market, and access to breathtaking fjords. Legend has it that in 1697, if Little Red Riding Hood had not slain to her wolf nemesis, the lecherous lupus was on its way to huff and to puff and to blow these houses down. Well done, Little Red, for preserving Bergen’s heritage! A UNESCO World Heritage Site, Bryggen Wharf exudes historical charm, and a funicular ride up Mount Fløyen offers stunning views of the city and the neighbouring islands and rivers covered in snow at this time of year. The inclement weather means that functionality precedes style, as evidenced by the vivid orange puffers lining the streets. Not the birds, but the jackets. Nearly every major city globally has hot dog stands; however, not all of them have been in operation for 75 years. Furthermore, very few of them have attracted as much attention from throughout the world as Trekroneren in Bergen. I joined the long line and ate a reindeer hot dog, known as “rein doggy dog” in the community—not to be confused with the celebrated rapper “rein dawgy dawg.” The most enjoyable part of the evening was at FishMe, an interactive seafood restaurant next to the market. The fishmonger’s daughter invited me around the back and asked me to fillet, but I declined due to the cold weather. The baked hake tasted sublime and went well with a light-bodied chablis that also considerably lightened my wallet. Gjetost is a traditional Norwegian brown cheese with a flavour profile reminiscent of butterscotch or creamy fudge. This cheese is served like Kraft slices, but unlike it’s distant cousin it’s not at all plasticy! I tasted it on pillow-soft waffles, where it slightly melted, and on firm dark rye, its creamy peanut butter afternotes had me hooked! The Nordic folk in manner and speech were a revelation. I expected a gruff demeanour and ‘Swedish Chef’ accents, but colloquial English and disarming politeness dominated. What a lovely bunch of people. One popular restaurant kept me waiting 10 minutes for my reserved table and didn’t charge me for my beer, a considerable gift at 15 Euros a pop. It was a shame I wasn’t kept waiting longer as they may have thrown in an Aquivita, the native liquor that causes blindness if drunk irresponsibly and powers Norwegian Airways planes. It was difficult to believe that these amiable countrymen were sprung from the mighty Vikings who ravaged England. Perhaps the history books are entirely wrong, and our submission to the Norsemen resulted from civility rather than bloodshed with axes and burning villages. “Good morning, Charles. I apologise for bothering you, but my soldiers and I have come to pillage your lovely village. I apologise for the trouble this has caused.” “Odin, not at all. After six weeks of rowing your huge longboats across the channel, you must all be worn out. Please take everything you want. And you can take the women for a test drive at your command after you’ve rested and shaken off your exhaustion.” “Thank you, Charles, you are most understandable and hospitable!” smiled Odin. To be continued…